How to Set Up Play that Works for Both Kids

Quick, Simple Strategies for Supporting Toddlers of Different Ages Through Play

If you’ve ever tried to play with two little ones at once, you know it’s not always smooth sailing. One wants to build the tower. The other wants to knock it down. Someone’s done playing after two minutes. Someone else is getting started with another toy. And you? You’re just trying to make it through the day with a few moments of connection.

As speech-language pathologists (and moms), we hear this question all the time:

“How do I play with both of my kids when they’re at totally different stages?”

If this is you, keep reading because today we’re going to answer it.

Whether you’ve got a baby and a toddler, twins with different needs, or a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old, here are four quick tips to make shared play less stressful and developmentally supportive for everyone.

1. Create a Play Space for Both Kids

Choose materials or toys that don’t require a “right” way to play.
Think: blocks, animal figurines, play food, cars, stacking cups.

These kinds of toys meet each child where they are. Your younger toddler can explore by banging, mouthing, or dumping, while your older child has room to build, narrate, or engage in pretend play.

In our house, my youngest is all about putting things in and out of containers, while my oldest is busy creating stories with her animals. So we pull out the same bin of animal figurines and a few bowls or boxes. One is focused on dumping and making animal noises, the other on dramatic play. It works because the materials are simple and flexible.

2. Give Each Child A “Job”

Frame the play so each child has something to do that fits their stage of development. For example, an 18-month-old puts animals in the barn, while a 3-year-old tells you what the animals are doing. Or, one stacks the blocks, the other knocks them down, and then they switch.

The other day we were playing with magnetic tiles. I gave my younger daughter the job of handing pieces to her sister, who was building a “castle.” She loved being the helper (with a little guidance), and her sister got to explain what she needed. Both kids were engaged, and both were practicing communication in ways that fit their level.

Simply put, everyone gets a role. Everyone feels included.

3. Use Side-By-Side Setups

Sometimes it’s best to keep things side by side. Having similar toys or materials available in two separate bins can go a long way in avoiding power struggles and helping things feel fair (especially when your kids are still learning to share).

I’ll often grab two small baskets and split the toys between them. Having access to the same types of items makes a big difference. If tension comes up, I step in with gentle guidance on sharing or trading, keeping in mind where each child is developmentally.

What we like about side-by-side or “parallel play” is that it lays the groundwork for cooperative play later on.

4. Manage Your Expectations

It’s okay if sibling play doesn’t look picture-perfect. Some days they'll play side by side. Other days, one will wander off or take a toy that was “in use.” That’s all normal.

Sibling play is a skill that develops over time, and it often starts with parallel play before evolving into more collaborative interactions.

At the end of the day, if everyone is engaged, even in their own way, and having fun? Call it a win.

Looking for More Tips to Make Sibling Play Easier?

We hope you found some helpful strategies in today’s post! If you’re ready to go a little deeper and learn more tips on guiding your toddlers through play at different stages (and how to foster independent, self-directed sibling play), Part Two is packed with practical ideas and insights.

In Guided Play for Two, we’ll walk your through: