The Part of Playtime No One's Posting About
Independent Play Is Great, But It’s Not The Whole Story.
We all want to drink our coffee while it’s still hot, finish a thought, or just have a minute to ourselves to breathe.
If you’ve spent any time scrolling parenting advice, you’ve probably read that independent play is the answer.
Before we get into the heart of this topic, we want to start with a quick note.
Independent play is valuable. Really valuable. You’ve probably seen post after post praising its role in building creativity, focus, and problem-solving skills, etc. Independent play gives toddlers the freedom to explore and experiment on their own terms.
At Elevate Toddler Play, we’re big believers in another type of play that often flies under the radar. It doesn’t get the spotlight.
It’s called guided play.
It may not be trending, and it probably won’t go viral, but that’s okay. We’ll keep talking about it anyway, because it’s backed by research as one of the most effective ways toddlers learn.
To be transparent, we’re not doing guided play all day long in our own homes. Our days include a mix of the types of playful learning: free play, guided play, and playful games. The goal of this post is to shine a light on what guided play can offer, especially when it comes to supporting your toddler’s communication development.
There’s no competition between guided play and independent play. They go hand in hand. Knowing when to step in and when to step back can shape your toddler’s confidence, communication, and connection with you.
Independent Play: Why It’s Trending (and Why It Matters)
If your social media algorithm is anything like mine, it’s almost impossible to scroll without seeing independent play ideas. Everywhere you look, there are lists of toys or activities that promise to keep your toddler busy for hours, or tips on how to encourage independent play.
And honestly, it makes sense. Parents are thinking more about how to reduce screen time, how to create meaningful moments at home, and how to give their toddlers opportunities to grow without constant entertainment. With so many toddlers in daycare, enrichment classes, or moving from one structured activity to the next, it’s easy to feel like every moment needs to be filled. But there’s growing value in moments where kids get to lead the way. Independent play gives them that chance.
When toddlers play on their own, they’re building essential life skills like creativity, problem-solving, confidence, the ability to focus, and much more. Whether they’re stacking blocks, pretending to cook, or inventing stories with their stuffed animals, they’re practicing decision-making, persistence, and flexible thinking. These skills will serve them well for years to come.
Independent play is a wonderful thing. But like any good thing, it grows stronger when it’s joined by connection.
Here’s the part we don’t always see in the highlight reels. Independent play doesn’t just happen. Before toddlers can confidently explore on their own, they need something even more important: play that happens together!
Guided Play: Where Connection Builds Confidence
If independent play is about toddlers exploring on their own, guided play is about exploring together. Guided play can be misunderstood as controlling the play or scripting every moment. It’s really about stepping into their world, following their lead, and using playful moments to model, expand, and connect.
Toddlers don’t know what they don’t know. They can’t pretend to cook if they haven’t seen someone stirring a pot. They can’t build a tower if no one’s ever stacked a block with them. Before toddlers can confidently explore on their own, they need to explore with you.
Guided play is where the foundation is built. When you get down on the floor, narrate what’s happening, model new ideas, or expand on their actions, you’re giving them more than just entertainment. You're teaching them. New words. New concepts. New possibilities.
You’re not taking away their independence. You're building it! Independent play isn’t instant. It’s grown through connection first and confidence next.
When toddlers feel supported through guided play, they’re more willing and more equipped to take the lead on their own later. Connection comes first. Confidence follows.
Toddlers thrive when they have both: moments of connection and moments of independence.
Guided play lights the way, while independent play lets your toddler take the steps.
When to Guide and When to Step Back
Can you think back to the first time you handed your toddler a few wooden blocks, before they had any idea of what to do with them? What happened? Maybe they banged them together, pushed them around, or even tossed them across the room.
That wasn’t wrong and it’s exactly what we’d expect!
Now imagine you sit down next to them. You don’t take over, you join in. You bang two blocks together and say, “bam bam!” Maybe, you push a block across the floor and say, “push!” Or, you stack two blocks and say, “up!”
You’re following their lead, adding in meaning while teaching language, and opening new possibilities without directing the play.
A few minutes later, you glance over... and there they are. They’re trying to build a tower on their own and attempting to say “up”.
That’s guided play. Not directing. Not controlling. Just stepping into their world and giving them tools to grow.
To find the rhythm between guided play and independent play you must follow your toddler’s lead.
Some moments, you’ll be their guide and play partner. Other moments, you’ll get to step back and watch their independence unfold.
Here are a few tips you can keep in mind and take with you today:
Start with connection. Spend a few minutes playing together first before stepping back.
Watch for their signals. If they keep pulling you in, they’re telling you they need a little more connection or guidance.
Follow their curiosity. Whether you’re adding to their play or stepping back, let their interests lead the way.
Expect the back-and-forth. Some days will be full of guided moments. Other days will lean more independent.
You’re building a relationship through play that leaves space for connection, teaching, and independence to grow. Yay!
On Connection, Confidence, and the Power of Both
You don’t have to pick a side. Guided play or independent play. You can offer both. When toddlers get moments of guidance and chances to explore on their own, growth follows.
If you’re curious to learn more about how guided play really works and why it’s the most efficient way to support early learning, we talk all about it here.
And if you're looking to bring guided play into your home, the Play Guide has you covered with simple prompts, words to model, and easy ideas using toys you already have at home.
A Little Encouragement As You Go
Maybe no one sees it, but we do. The quiet way you keep showing up.
Every time you get down on the floor, say a new word, or stay present in the middle of a long day, you’re helping your toddler grow.
These small, faithful moments are where confidence grows. Where connection forms. Where your toddler learns that the world is safe and kind and worth exploring.
It might not look big from the outsider, but it is.
Just keep showing up.
You are your toddler’s favorite person to learn from.
And that’s more than enough.
Let’s keep going.
We believe in you.